The accuracy of this little quip is very insightful comparing men to puppies in that they need very pointed, direct, clear communications from us on what we want them to do. They are not mind readers. They do not know what women are thinking – EVER. Is it your puppy’s fault for being a normal puppy and needing constant reminders? So, then can we possibly have more patience and compassion for our male mates just being normal men?
As a rule, men are very simple creatures. Very visual, linear thinking, goal directed people. Porn, penetration, thrust, orgasm, sleep coma. Check. Done. Like dogs they often crave attention, praise and petting, but don’t require anything emotional and never too complex. This is simple, real life. There is no right or wrong. It just IS.
So many couples I see have dramatic fights over one wanting sex ‘all the time’ and the other wanting it ‘never’. While of course this is an over- exaggeration of reality, each partner literally feels this to be true in their minds. It is NOT any one person’s FAULT. This is our human nature. If we understand this about each other first, then it can pave the way for greater understanding of personal preferences
Women are more like a tricky combination lock that changes its secret password minute to minute and expects that it will be well known and obvious. Like a cat. To get a cat to notice you, you should first ignore it. Then maybe it will allow you to pet it, but only in a very specific way, or it will turn around and bite you – hard. We must learn how each particular cat wants to be approached anew every time we pet it.
It is OUR job as women to communicate our needs and wants, directly and clearly to the receiver. We were taught to never be selfish or ask for what we like. Unfortunately we have not unlearned this behavior and forget to SAY anything about what we prefer. So how can we be angry at our partner, if we are at fault for not making our desires known?
And very importantly we should be aware of our own body, how it works, and what’s the most pleasurable way we want it to be touched. But most older women were raised with very strict Victorian notions of ‘Proper Lady-Like Behavior’ which never included any room for being playful and SEXY! And how can you be a June Cleaver perfect 50’s mother one minute and Lady Gaga sex kitten the next? That’s a mind-flip for sure!
How the sexes ever communicate anything is a miracle. Our brains function so differently: emotions vs. actions. So be aware of this idea and try hard to accept the normalcy of it all.
Vive la Difference!